Sunday Reflections: Your weekly insight from outside the puplit

last love chat of 2024

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

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Hey cousin’s! This last reflection is personal from the pulpit of my heart. Welcome back to the last Sunday chat of 2024.

Me as I type this

I’ve met some truly remarkable souls on Substack. Through messages, direct exchanges, and even shared moments of vulnerability, we've formed connections that transcends past this digital space. Some of us have swapped numbers, had conversations that felt almost too intimate for this space, and—my personal favorite—supported each other out loud, in the open. There’s something so powerful about publicly rooting for one another, especially in a world that often feels like it’s pulling us away from one another.

But through all these rare, beautiful exchanges, there’s one thing that stands out to me above all else. We all, in our own ways, long for love. And honestly, I believe it’s more than just a want. Love, to me, is a life necessity. It's the thread that binds us, the rope of hope that connects our hearts, even when we're far apart.

Yesterday,

Virgo Turned Villain

asked me a simple question:

“Do you believe in love?”

To answer that, I realized, you first have to understand what love truly is. Love per google is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.

What is your definition of love?

I want to say love is patient, kind—like the qualities you read about in the Bible. But for me, it’s more than that. Love is bold. It’s loud. You shouldn’t have to wonder if love is present; it should walk into a room and make its presence known, like the sun breaking through clouds on a cloudy day. Love, to me, is hypnotic, a force so powerful it pulls you into a trance where you wonder if even God struggles to pull you back out of it.

I’ve painted a picture of love in my mind, an image of what it should look like, feel like. But, if I’m being honest, I’m starting to realize that love can’t be contained in any image or box. It’s too vast, too limitless. Love is a roller coaster of emotions that forces us to look inward, to reflect on ourselves in ways we never expected. And as I sit here thinking more deeply about it, I realize that yes—I do believe in love. But lately, it’s my own version of love, the one I’ve imagined, that I’m starting to lose hope in.

It’s harder now, isn’t it? To simply be in love.

To co-exist with someone without the weight of misunderstanding, deceit, and disconnection. Why is it so hard to find harmony with another person?

Lies are everywhere, Effort seems minimal— like people are just... settling for surface-level exchanges. What are the lovers of the world supposed to do these days?

Love, in all its forms, has taught me so much. The love I have for my daughter, for example—it’s unlike any other love I’ve known. She’s shown me parts of myself I didn’t want to see: my impatience, my inability to always relate, and my deep need to feel protected and provided for within myself.

Love has also been a healer. Through failed relationships, I’ve learned. I’ve grown. My wants, at times, have led me to confuse lust with love. Wanting so badly to be seen and understood by someone, only to realize I sought it from the wrong person, and in the end, let that desire open wounds that should never have been touched. Or at least, that’s what I thought at the time. The truth is, I had buried those wounds so deep I’d forgotten about them. But allowing someone else the opportunity to reopen them gave me the chance to finally soothe them, to nurse them back to life.

Looking back love has always and will continue to work in my favor.

I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that love isn’t always what we expect it to be. Sometimes it’s a lesson in disguise, or a mirror that reflects all the things we’re not ready to face. But it’s still love. And in the end, it’s the one thing that keeps us going, even when we feel like we’re losing faith in everything else.

So to

Virgo Turned Villain

: Thank You. You gave me a reason reflect and close out my last chat of 2024.

Chat soon, Candice